Half way through the 101 tokens trip yippee! A big F*ck yeah to anyone else tokening, we've made it 6 months! For me there's been a few ups and downs over 2017 but it does get easier as you go along. I started this blog as a way to increase my motivation and vent some of my frustration in March when the initial novelty of the Token idea had worn off and I was struggling with a few internal and external factors relating to more conscious drinking. Once again three months later it's a good time to reflect on the highlights and learning of the last few months.
At the start of the year when I was explaining the Token rules to friends and family a lot of comments went along the line of "Don't worry if you blow out over summer because you'll make it up in winter." Clearly they did not know what my June would have in store! Tokens were used at not one but two hens (one of which resulted in an almighty spewy hangover and a delayed maccas breakfast), a large house party for my housemate's 30th and a trip to Tassie for the Dark Mofo festival. All of which added up to 8 tokens for the month and a total of 50 for the year. I had a little mini goal of my own to be on 50 tokens exactly by the half way point and I was doing oh so well with this plan until two things happened:
1. I didn't realise the 30th of June was a Friday the traditional 'Let off Steam with After Work Beers Day'.
Now this one has been overcome before during the token journey and usually would have been overcome again except for.......
2. My boyfriend and I bought an apartment!
And if that doesn't deserve a celebratory token then I don't know what does!! So that leaves me at 51 tokens so far for the year.
Token days off in June were spent checking out Van Gough's Seasons exhibition (along with about a million other people) at the NGV in Melbourne, playing some fierce 8th grade women's hockey (poorly we're second from the bottom of the ladder), checking out a cracking DD Dumbo gig at the Croxton and attending multiple multiple house inspections.
The last 3 months have also been filled with some new insights and musings. Last blog post I wrote a little about token use and that I was really missing the odd glass of wine after work. Now that winter's hit officially in Melbourne (it was a toasty 1 degree yesterday morning) the lure of a red wine by the heater is in full swing however I feel as thought that's now more achievable for a few reasons.
Firstly because last month I overcame one of my sober fears. I headed off to a club night sober and not only did I still manage to have a great time I also stayed out until after 2am which I thought was a massive achievement. A few points of interest about the night were that the effects of the smoke machine, lighting and music still managed to have some of the effect of escapism and freedom that I usually would have attributed to drugs or alcohol. I fibbed to my mates that I was drinking for two reasons: a) I didn't want to get hassled about having a drink, although now most of my mates are used to the token idea and are pretty good on that front.... and b) I didn't want them to treat me differently because I wasn't drinking. I know myself if I know someone is sober when I'm drinking I can become very self conscious and avoid the sober person. Now did I need to do this, I don't know so I presume the next goal is to have another late night out and let everyone know that I'm having a token day off.
The other idea I've been thinking about since last March is the idea of 'wasting a token' on a casual drink. Previously I would have said that I should definitely save all tokens for big boozy events however now that I'm starting to have a go at doing a few of those sober it allows me to think a little more about why I drink and what I really like about it and have those factors determine when and why I have a drink and not social norms/traditions.
One experience I had in April which made that hit home when when I was back visiting my parents over Easter. I had organised with my sister to go and visit my elderly (92 year old!!) grandparents and have lunch with them in Dorrigo. Now my grandpa is quite the character, he's quite deaf, has a booming voice and is not afraid to voice an opinion. On the way into town I said to my sister that I was a bit concerned that Grandpa wouldn't be on board with me not having a drink over lunch and I was considering lying to him about being on antibiotics or something to get away with not having a wine. On arrival at their house I thought the better of lying to my dear old grandparents and thought what the hell, I'll try and explain the Token phenomenon to them! Grandpa took it better than I thought and so we headed off to lunch at a local cafe where my grandpa knows all the staff and had BYO a bottle of white for himself, my gran and my sister. However my initial suspicions about Grandpa were correct as after we had ordered and wine gasses were being collected he turned to me and said "now you'll have a glass of wine with me won't you Melanie?". And now I was stuck, do I be firm with my 92 year old grandpa and stick to sobriety or please the man and 'waste a token'?
My grandpa while still living at home on his own is quite frail and can't get about well anymore which has been a real blow to a man who has spent the best part of his life spending his days outdoors running a farm. He has said to me on more than one occasion that one of the few joys he has left in life is a nice glass on wine with a meal. So quickly weighing this up in my mind I said 'Sure grandpa, thank you' as my glass was filled. On the way home a I was quite angry with my grandpa for not respecting my challenge and trying to peer pressure me into 'wasting a token'. Now while I still don't think anyone should ever try and pressure anyone else into drinking I have had a bit of a change of heart in this situation. Both of my grandparents have been unwell the last few years and I really don't know how many more lunches I'll be able to have with both of them so it's actually a wonderful use of a token to be able to share a meal and a glass of wine with two very special people in my life while I still can.
So hopefully with a few new ideas under my belt the second half of the year runs a little more easily than the front half. I hope to spend less time being hungover and more time doing things I enjoy such as getting back to being able to run 10km, finally buying a pair of gloves so I can ride my bike on the frosty mornings without fear of my fingers falling off and most importantly move into my new home! To my fellow tokeners good luck with the second half of 2017 and I hope you're working towards some of the goals you set at the start of the year or refocusing on new kickass things for the home stretch!
At the start of the year when I was explaining the Token rules to friends and family a lot of comments went along the line of "Don't worry if you blow out over summer because you'll make it up in winter." Clearly they did not know what my June would have in store! Tokens were used at not one but two hens (one of which resulted in an almighty spewy hangover and a delayed maccas breakfast), a large house party for my housemate's 30th and a trip to Tassie for the Dark Mofo festival. All of which added up to 8 tokens for the month and a total of 50 for the year. I had a little mini goal of my own to be on 50 tokens exactly by the half way point and I was doing oh so well with this plan until two things happened:
1. I didn't realise the 30th of June was a Friday the traditional 'Let off Steam with After Work Beers Day'.
Now this one has been overcome before during the token journey and usually would have been overcome again except for.......
2. My boyfriend and I bought an apartment!
And if that doesn't deserve a celebratory token then I don't know what does!! So that leaves me at 51 tokens so far for the year.
Token days off in June were spent checking out Van Gough's Seasons exhibition (along with about a million other people) at the NGV in Melbourne, playing some fierce 8th grade women's hockey (poorly we're second from the bottom of the ladder), checking out a cracking DD Dumbo gig at the Croxton and attending multiple multiple house inspections.
The last 3 months have also been filled with some new insights and musings. Last blog post I wrote a little about token use and that I was really missing the odd glass of wine after work. Now that winter's hit officially in Melbourne (it was a toasty 1 degree yesterday morning) the lure of a red wine by the heater is in full swing however I feel as thought that's now more achievable for a few reasons.
Firstly because last month I overcame one of my sober fears. I headed off to a club night sober and not only did I still manage to have a great time I also stayed out until after 2am which I thought was a massive achievement. A few points of interest about the night were that the effects of the smoke machine, lighting and music still managed to have some of the effect of escapism and freedom that I usually would have attributed to drugs or alcohol. I fibbed to my mates that I was drinking for two reasons: a) I didn't want to get hassled about having a drink, although now most of my mates are used to the token idea and are pretty good on that front.... and b) I didn't want them to treat me differently because I wasn't drinking. I know myself if I know someone is sober when I'm drinking I can become very self conscious and avoid the sober person. Now did I need to do this, I don't know so I presume the next goal is to have another late night out and let everyone know that I'm having a token day off.
The other idea I've been thinking about since last March is the idea of 'wasting a token' on a casual drink. Previously I would have said that I should definitely save all tokens for big boozy events however now that I'm starting to have a go at doing a few of those sober it allows me to think a little more about why I drink and what I really like about it and have those factors determine when and why I have a drink and not social norms/traditions.
One experience I had in April which made that hit home when when I was back visiting my parents over Easter. I had organised with my sister to go and visit my elderly (92 year old!!) grandparents and have lunch with them in Dorrigo. Now my grandpa is quite the character, he's quite deaf, has a booming voice and is not afraid to voice an opinion. On the way into town I said to my sister that I was a bit concerned that Grandpa wouldn't be on board with me not having a drink over lunch and I was considering lying to him about being on antibiotics or something to get away with not having a wine. On arrival at their house I thought the better of lying to my dear old grandparents and thought what the hell, I'll try and explain the Token phenomenon to them! Grandpa took it better than I thought and so we headed off to lunch at a local cafe where my grandpa knows all the staff and had BYO a bottle of white for himself, my gran and my sister. However my initial suspicions about Grandpa were correct as after we had ordered and wine gasses were being collected he turned to me and said "now you'll have a glass of wine with me won't you Melanie?". And now I was stuck, do I be firm with my 92 year old grandpa and stick to sobriety or please the man and 'waste a token'?
My grandpa while still living at home on his own is quite frail and can't get about well anymore which has been a real blow to a man who has spent the best part of his life spending his days outdoors running a farm. He has said to me on more than one occasion that one of the few joys he has left in life is a nice glass on wine with a meal. So quickly weighing this up in my mind I said 'Sure grandpa, thank you' as my glass was filled. On the way home a I was quite angry with my grandpa for not respecting my challenge and trying to peer pressure me into 'wasting a token'. Now while I still don't think anyone should ever try and pressure anyone else into drinking I have had a bit of a change of heart in this situation. Both of my grandparents have been unwell the last few years and I really don't know how many more lunches I'll be able to have with both of them so it's actually a wonderful use of a token to be able to share a meal and a glass of wine with two very special people in my life while I still can.
So hopefully with a few new ideas under my belt the second half of the year runs a little more easily than the front half. I hope to spend less time being hungover and more time doing things I enjoy such as getting back to being able to run 10km, finally buying a pair of gloves so I can ride my bike on the frosty mornings without fear of my fingers falling off and most importantly move into my new home! To my fellow tokeners good luck with the second half of 2017 and I hope you're working towards some of the goals you set at the start of the year or refocusing on new kickass things for the home stretch!
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